My dearest Poodle puppy, Baobao, passed away at the veterinary office near my home at 9:30AM on July 17, 2008. He died of CPV infection and was only 68 days old. He was most probably infected when I walked him in a park before his vaccination was completed. Veterinarians also said that my neighborhood was a large CPV-infected area with many adult dogs carrying the virus.He dehydrated rapidly due to vomiting and diarrhea. Medical treatments finally failed since he was too young to have a strong enough immune status.
It was a nightmare to see him losing appetite in depression, then struggling and groaning in pain and fear, and finally losing energy, closing his eyes and stopping breathing in my hands. Upon seeing him dying, I felt that I made a right choice to have chosen to become a vegetarian in the past months. There's no doubt that all living things are as afraid to die as human beings are, even though dogs seem to have more communication with us human beings than most other animals. How can we eat them even though we don't kill them with our own hands? And what if we are eaten by beings much wiser than we are?
I buried him in the garden outside of my balcony window, near where he used to live, jump, and entertain me, so I could keep him as a neighborly companion for ever and see where he slept through my window when I thought of him. I lingered around him for a while, watched the earthworms creeping out of the loose mud, expecting his resurrection to no avail. I sighed. He seemed very peaceful, slumbering in the quiet earth, beneath the delicate shades of green and red so that no one could ever disturb him.
Although my life is much longer than his, I wonder in the vast universe what difference it makes between 68 days and 100 billion years, as time and space are just an illusion to us. I can imagine that someday we shall be buried by our beloved very much the same way as I did him. I miss him already. Deep at night, I look through my window at the place where I buried him, wondering how many souls are drifting around out there waiting for their reincarnation. I believe he will be back for me, soon, since no one has ever loved him as much as I do.
A friend of mine who owns 6 dogs says to me that my puppy didn't come to the world for nothing; at least he had my greatest love and nursing care when he was my company during the past month. She has promised to give me a new Poodle puppy when her dog gives birth in August. But how can I forget the deceased?
As I'm writing this, night is wearing away. I wish the sun would never rise again so my dearest puppy could enjoy the longest sleep under the starry sky.
