These Precious Souls

I've been questioning the meaning of my existence,
since I've been gradually rid of most mundane desires.
Time is left for me to see the unbeknownst,
and to be with my people whom I'm living for.

My only wealth is the friendship of these precious souls,
who've met and befriended me from different paths.
Last night I held another party,
hosting 10 people from China, Finland and France.
So many old friends were absent,
and I sighed, "parting is all we know of heaven."
Mika, an amazingly mild-mannered Finnish cameraman,
has been making a documentary on "changing face".
I'd rather say it is a collection of certain chapters of my life.
He has lived in Beijing for 11 years,
and now has a Chinese wife and 2 little kids.
His co-worker, another Finnish cameraman also named Mika,
is just as reticent and mild as his buddy.
I look at them, always wondering if any human stains could
occure in their seemingly blank minds --
greed, selfishness, vengefulness, lust, cheating and lying...

Sophie, a French cosmetician who's lived in Beijing for 2 years,
can never stop when having to converse about her profession.
The make-up artist for French President Chirak once,
she has eye-catching achievements stemming from her skills and zest.
She has snow-like skin, long shiny dark hair,
and her misty and hazy eyes
tell no secrets behind that naivete.
Her French chef friend, a girl named Crystal,
is perhaps a bit more outgoing and more transparent.
She made a big chocolate cake for me,
which I put in my fridge right away,
so that I can eat it later all by myself.
Her eyes can speak,
always searching, inquiring, needing,
with not a moment of hiding and evading.
Ma Lihong, a young aspiring TV reporter and editor,
has so many questions about my personal philosophy of life.
We are about the same age,
but she honors me as an erudite older scholar,
to fill her with learning and enlightenment.
We are creating a new pay-per-view TV program together,
on all the mysteries happening besides us,
from UFO to fortune-telling...

I like them all, as I see young people unlike those whom I'm more familiar with.
They like traveling, exploring, and finally end up in Beijing.
They enjoy what they do for a living,
never worried about unfulfilled ambitions.
They seem content with current status,
never bothered by the idea of separation or unrequited love.
They see the world with openness,
treating life as a no-hurry pastime.
I love them all, and enjoy observing them,
often wondering why my life can't be as simple as theirs,
or we simply all have untold secretive traumas and confusion.

03/19/2006